7 January 2017

Why I Find It Hard To Be Away From Home

Image Credit: We Heart It

Im starting to write this post at 23:42 after having a long think after writing in my diary. After closing it. I thought to myself "I wonder when my life will start to get interesting?" Now only I can make this change I know but there's many reasons why I am holding myself back. I could be out there like not even somewhere exotic but even visiting different places in the UK, having fun and meeting new people. But, I just don't make these plans and then sit there and wonder why my life is boring. Now I'm not saying I'm the most boring person ever, I have done some fun things and been on amazing holidays but its just rare. I'd love my diary to be packed of fun things frequently.

I love being at home, I love the comfort of being in my pyjamas, in bed watching TV and having everything I need close to me. I love having my family close and that's how I have always been. I'm always like "I can't wait to go home" or thinking about what I'd be doing if I was at home. However, I have had 2 weeks off of work and I'm so ready to go back. I haven't really made any fun places or done anything exciting. It's nice to relax after being so busy but it gets to a point when doing nothing and sleeping in till 11 gets me down.

I'm not a sufferer of anxiety, however recently I have become more anxious than I have ever been. One thing that gets in the way of me wanting to get out there is my medical condition. Thinking that something could happen to me when I am out is scary and it stops me from wanting to be in certain places. So when thinking of cool things I could be doing I think of the worst that could happen instead.

I'm not lazy either. I sit here wanting to go and do cool things but I don't really want to at the same time. I over think every single thing and instead of just living in the moment I'm too much of a planner, then I become too overwhelmed and the plans just don't happen. I am a firm believer of everything happens for a reason so that gets in the way too. I always think that if I am not doing something, then the world is telling me not to.

When I go out even to town, I can't just take my card and phone with me. Oh no, I need a bag with an umbrella, tissues, hand sanitiser ( I just can't cope without that), a lip balm, glasses cleaner ( if there's one smudge on my glasses I have to take them off, but then I struggle to see haha). Like all these things are normal but on a quick trip out not everything is necessary. So when I think of going on a quick trip where I'll be staying over night I'll panic and think about taking a big bag around with me (because if I'm staying over night I need some straighteners, my makeup and toiletries).

I don't know if you are reading this thinking I am so weird but these are just things that go on in my head. I thought I'd write it all down, see if anyone agrees with me. I honestly need to start living my life. I am 20 years old and there are many things I need to do before I start thinking about settling down. Some people are all about travelling, whereas I'd love to have my own family as soon as its possible. However, maybe that should change because it's going to be a while before I can afford to move out and bring up a child.

So hopefully I can reopen my diary and write down all sorts of fun things and make plans that will make my life more fun! I hope I can have more opportunities and amazing experiences.  Thanks for  reading this , and please leave me a comment below if you relate. I'd love to hear what you have to say or take on some advice. 

Louise x

11 comments :

  1. I know what you mean about liking home comforts....thats me too. I never go away for more than a week cos I usually cant wait to get home. You can still enjoy life without going away but I guess its about starting small to overcome some of the stresses bit by bit and build up more courage. Having someone with you to offer some suport can be good. As ever there's no easy answers but I hope you can find ways to get out there. Little things can make such a difference. xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I need to start small! Duhh, should have thought of that! Constant little trips will make it easier to have longer trips. Thank you so much for your comment! I really appreciate it xx

      Delete
    2. You got it hun! I really liked going somewhere nice but quiet ro start with so it was less stressful. I loved Whitby just to really take the stress away....probs too far for you but somewhere like it so you can chill. xx

      Delete
  2. I totally relate to you as I don't suffer with anxiety but I get really anxious about going to certain places. Like it took me years before I went to any of my friend's houses without my parents as I always thought of the worst thing that could happen - I used to imagine that I was going to be sick or something. This was a great post and has inspired me to try and be more confident in going to different places x
    A x | www.meandmybeautyblog.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so happy to hear that I have inspired you! It's good that you can go to your friends house. Sometimes I have actually thought about how embarassaing it would be if I was sick staying round someones house, I get you! I hope you do really fun things! Thank you for reading xx

      Delete
  3. Thanks and no problem it was an amazing post x

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Louise, I'm the same too. I prefer being at home then somewhere I don't feel at home in. If I do stay somewhere I try to make it as homely as possible. Kettle, tv, somewhere quiet to retreat to are a must. I like my creature comforts. As a result I don't go away much or travel too far. Maybe 2017 will be the year to over come this. Here's hoping xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Abbie. Thank you so much for commenting! It is horrible not feeling at home. I hate being awkward and not feeling comfortable. I hope we can both over come this in 2017 too. Good luck! Xx

      Delete
  5. I feel like writing everything down is the first step sometimes and you've done just that. You've acknowledged what you would like to achieve. The next step is making some plans - to the best of your ability. :-)

    Musings & More

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, that is true! One step already there!xx

      Delete
  6. Hi Louise! who doesn't love being at home! However, I also love to travel a lot and experience new places. You can always make yourself a home away from home ;)

    have a wonderful day!
    ❥ Vicky | The Golden Bun - Instagram TGB-

    ReplyDelete

Thank you so much for leaving a comment. I read and appreciate every single one. I reply to as many as I can as I love to have a chat with my readers about the topics I choose to discuss on my blog. Any comments that are inappropriate will be deleted as I like to keep my blog positive.